...spoilers included

1ndependenceday @ 2007-09-25T18:15:00

2007-09-25T22:15:47Z

Strangles of words:
A speech act of poetry.

One.

Tragedy: the ground, filthy
I can't clean what must be dirty
Muck, rake, sweep, toil
Mountains of clothes and foxes and boxes
To my closet, the forest, my coffin.
To darkness.
Tragedy

Two.

I'm tortured because nothing tortures me
I feel bad that there's nothing to feel bad about
The sun is laughing at me
The moon is spitting in my face
The stars are poking my eyes
My tongue is dry. My hair is wet
Silence.

Three.

Fucked up.
I fall. I fall again.
I can't even get up.
This is my epitaph
My heart will not be patched
Will not. Be patched.

Four.

I'm bleeding the blue from your eye
From the picture on my dashboard
My GT is broken, like my heart
Twigs scratch and poke at the rash on my frozen soul
A slaughtered lamb. A broken hand.
Eyes no longer blue
I close them
I drive.

on conor oberst:

2007-02-10T12:07:33Z

you know you've hit rock bottom when your most uplifting song is about deciding not to commit suicide.

bright eyes. march 30, 20h. café de la danse

(upon closer inspection, it's brown)

unique ways not to write a paper

2006-11-28T17:25:15Z

1. scrape dead insects off of wall and ceiling

(sandwiches!)

2006-11-10T14:21:22Z

Flaubert – Voyage en Italie

Saint-Mandrier. L’économe–le prévôt–jardin ; citerne avec son écho. Promenade dans la rade–la mer était bien bleue, le vent gonflait la voile et l’eau murmurait aux flancs du canot–l’eau de la même mer, avec le même bruit qui murmurait à la proue de la galère de Cléopâtre ou de Néron. L’immobilité de la Méditerranée semble la rendre éternelle et toujours jeune–si Homère revenait, il reverrait le soleil aussi chaud sur les golfes aussi doux.–L’Océan est plus dans notre nature : il y a la différence du romantique au classique, plus large, mais moins beau peut-être.–Lamalgue – habitation de poète. Les roses dans le jardin–le petit singe. Je ne sais jamais si c’est moi qui regarde le singe ou si c’est me singe qui me regarde.–Les singes sont mes aïeux. J’ai rêvé (il y a environ trois semaines) que j’étais dans une grande forêt toute remplie de singes. Me mère se promenait avec moi. Plus nous avancions, plus il en venait–il y en avait dans les branches qui riaient et sautaient. Il en venait beaucoup dans notre chemin, et de plus en plus grands, de plus en plus nombreux–ils me regardaient tous–j’ai fini par avoir peur. Ils nous entouraient comme dans un cercle–un a voulu me caresser et m’a pris la main, je lui ai tiré un coup de fusil à l’épaule et je l’ai fait saigner : il a poussé des hurlements affreux. Ma mère m’a dit alors : « Pourquoi le blesses-tu, ton ami, qu’est-ce qu’il t’as fait ? Ne vois-tu pas qu’il t’aime ? Comme il te ressemble ! » Et le singe me regardait ; cela m’a déchiré l’âme et je me suis réveillé… me sentant de la même nature que les animaux et fraternisant avec eux d’une communion toute panthéistique et tendre.

Flaubert – Voyage in Italy

Saint Mandrier. The steward–the provost–garden; the cistern and its echo. Sailing in the harbor–the sea was quite blue, the wind filling the sail and the water murmuring at the sides of the launch–water of the same sea, making the same noise that babbled at the prows of galleys carrying Cleopatra and Nero. The stillness of the Mediterranean makes it seem eternal and everyoung–If Homer returned, he’d see the sun just as hot on bays just as mild.–The ocean is more to our nature: it’s the difference between romantic and classic, wider, but perhaps less beautiful.–Lamalgue–home of poets. Roses in the garden. The little monkey. I’m never sure if I’m watching the monkey or if he’s watching me.–Monkeys are my forebears. I dreamed (about three weeks ago) that I was in a great forest full of monkeys. My mother was walking with me. The further we went in, the more monkeys came.–They were in the branches laughing and jumping. Many came into our path, bigger and bigger, more and more–they were all looking at me–I became frightened. They encircled us–one wanted to caress me and took my hand, I shot him in the shoulder and he started to bleed: he howled awfully. My mother said “why would you hurt your friend, what did he do to you? Can’t you see that he loves you? How he looks like you!” The monkey was watching me; it broke my heart and I woke up… feeling that I was of the same nature as all animals and in fraternity with them in a pantheistic and tender communion.

(watch out [look up!])

2006-09-05T12:54:51Z

the books leave me empty-headed and thirsting to talk

(there is a combination of speed and patience)

(between 0300 and 0500)

2006-06-30T13:14:19Z

and the award for the most annoying ringtone goes to...

Katherine Wysor, with Stars and Stripes Forever!

where it's at

2006-06-20T04:00:01Z

   At lunchtime, Hal Incandenza was lying on his bunk in bright sunlight through the window with his hands laced over his chest, and Jim Troeltsch poked his head in and asked Hal what he was doing, and Hal told him photosynthesizing and then didn't say anything else until Troeltsch went away.
   Then, 41 breaths later, Michael Pemulis stuck his head in where Troeltsch's had been.
   'Did you eat yet?'
   Hal made his stomach bulge up and patted it, still looking at the ceiling. 'The beast has killed and gorged and now lies in the shade of the Baobab tree.'
   'Gotcha.'
   'Surveying his local pride.'
   'I gotcha.'
   Over 200 breaths later, John ('N.R.') Wayne opened up the ajar door a little more and put his whole head in and stayed like that, with just his head in. He didn't say anything and Hal didn't say anything, and they stayed like that for a while, and then Wayne's head smoothly withdrew'

(p.560)

1ndependenceday @ 2006-06-01T15:56:00

2006-06-01T19:57:32Z

(But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. [King James Version])

things i hate

2006-06-01T15:24:01Z

flies

Manly times à la Wysor

2006-05-19T17:20:09Z

My dad uses ‘zephyr’ and ‘diaphanous’ in context in the same sentence, followed by ‘interstices’ in the next. We’re painting deck furniture.

Half an hour after eggs and toast he suggests walking to the cheese shanty for a sandwich. Of course I’m hungry.

1ndependenceday @ 2006-05-10T23:56:00

2006-05-11T03:50:51Z

my mother was very shocked to find that fuck was included in the scrabble dictionary, appalled when i asked if cunt was, some other verb entirely when she found that cunt too is defined, and accepted, by the scrabble powers.

1ndependenceday @ 2006-05-10T23:55:00

2006-05-11T03:50:34Z

miles (by car, this semester [depuis 1/6?]): 4899.2

waypoints include sandusky, northampton, lancaster, boston, middletown, vienna, etc.

miles (by foot, running, since spring break [3/21]): 176.9

(nb: running comprises roughly 3.5% of TOFD [total official travel distance])

dollars (in change, accumulated in my chinese pumpkin bank over the course of the academic year): 34.19

149 pennies, 36 nickles, 59 dimes, 96 quarters, 1 susan b. anthony silver dollar

(other currency includes 16 pop tabs, 1 indian rupee, 41 euro cents, 46 english pence and 10 swiss centimes)

1ndependenceday @ 2006-04-16T07:50:00

2006-04-16T11:45:43Z

i woke up at 5:40 today...again (??)

1ndependenceday @ 2006-04-11T11:14:00

2006-04-11T15:11:41Z

paid vacations for the unemployed

2006-04-07T16:27:42Z

Citroën, Renault, Peugeot

le rêve d'un accident de voiture

Vince drives on the left, and i'm not insistent (enough that he doesn't, even though it's my car) and we fly over (the edge of the road, then over) the highway and i relax, being somewhat impressed that i can (cause you're supposed to), before impact. the front descends faster than the rear. at impact, i find myself in a bright dorm room and i'm floaty (because of the anti-gravity of falling). i find a pillow to sheild myself and survive the crash, just a bit bloody (on the face and hands, nostrils). some girl starts kissing me, but i'm leaving, ascending a square staircase, going to the bathroom, the shower, to get clean. (i'm not agitated when I awake)

i'm getting back in my car (and by car i mean bed) for the afternoon.

(people started saying the craziest things as I slid off to sleep in math)

playlist!

2006-03-09T15:07:37Z

in some order (but i didnt try that hard...) here are the songs i'm currently working with

1. 困兽之斗 — 周杰伦
2. Disconnect The Dots — Of Montreal
3. Bonds Of Sea & Fire — 光田康典
4. Blame It On The Tetons — Modest Mouse
5. King's Crossing — Elliott Smith
6. Possibly Maybe — Björk
7. Crooked Teeth — Death Cab for Cutie
8. What I'm Trying To Say — Stars
9. Calculation Theme — Metric
10.Lion's Mane — Iron & Wine
11.Rapture Rapes The Muses — Of Montreal
12.Julie With ... — Brian Eno
13.Say Hello to the Angels — Interpol
14.The Book Of Right-On — Joanna Newsom
15.Upward Over the Mountain — Iron & Wine
16.The Police and the Private — Metric

1ndependenceday @ 2006-02-19T22:50:00

2006-02-20T03:54:47Z

i wouldn't be too dramatic, eh?

1ndependenceday @ 2006-02-19T21:30:00

2006-02-20T03:03:57Z

bonus points for the one who tells me why it's significant! (no telling, belly!)

in other news: who is that kid?

more pictures (just a few!)

the number 9 fx arsenal jersey! (oh no!)

capucine, and other red things

father with mitterand's arch à la defense

the canal's just like in amélie (except with socks...)

"et jesu prit le pain..." (funny how oranges come back around)

sometimes the busses go against traffic, and i dont think the one who drew the h is the only one who thinks that bush is going the wrong way (against all meaning!)

i've kept pretty good track of my life in images over the years...my parents gave me a decent start. but there is one hole, where i have some prints but no digital, and i think they're in a box in my dresser at home. maybe someday i'll get to scanning them. or maybe they'll stay at my house, where i am not.

in those pictures are the ones of julien's visit. i'd be interested in seeing those pictures again. now that i think about it, i have one picture from then. it's not of my taking, but here it is.

i look like a huge tool, but you'll have that.

fake frowns!

2006-02-19T06:26:44Z

Thanks for the comb—
I used it even though it was visibly crusty because I’m not afraid of your dead cells or dead products or other things from your head.

I remember being at gibert jeune near st michel and buying a ream of paper which I carried around paris. It was as heavy as one might expect a ream of paper to be, and the bag fro mthe store was the usual plastic which dug into my fingers. I wasn't inordinately discomforted, but i was glad when i got it home (and by home i mean 3 rue liline, brunoy 91800). It proved to be very useful for the trip. I might have some at that paper still, I could tell because it’s somewhat longer than eleven inches.

tonight is the second of a pair of auspicious and auspiciously different nights. (i think i used it correctly both times, and by that i mean neither usage was too big of a stretch) yesterday was drugs and the drugged chez jacques. today was dinner and olympics and sardines and throwing a full water bottle at thomas when he thought it was empty and pulling a muscle in my chest laughing or running of the stairs i'm not sure which. i was squished in closets and behind boxes.

in several potentially interesting ways, the two nights' conversations were parallel. see ghosts, oranges and the olympics. none are too big of ta stretch, but the ghost conversations were maybe the most random, and most indicative of the people with which i was talking. which brings me to my next statement:

ali and jen dont like dreams cause they're always nightmares. (does everyone dream the same class of dreams every time? i have the same style of dreams alot, which is mostly what i write about)

now notes because i prefer to sleep.
- thomas is in the common room getting really excited about wheel of fortune
- it is too bad though, that west virginia lost. it was a worthy battle, which bodes well for le championnat.

i'm smiling, but not too hard. (my lips are chapped!)

did i mention i cleaned my room?( there is more [both to write and to clean] but there would be. )

oh schnader, how classy you are

2006-01-30T22:48:24Z

Bagel Breakfast will be cancelled tomorrow in Schnader Hall due to the actions of a few residents this past weekend who saw it fit to urinate in the Japanese fountain that was put in the Dollhouse over break.

1ndependenceday @ 2005-12-04T00:53:00

2005-12-04T05:57:15Z

i didn't mention that i went to the movie in the green room with ceanna and carin, and i knew everyone there..it's like going to the movies with 50 of your friends, except you dont know all of them that well...but a bunch of the dispatch kids were there, and lauren and wendy and li and urbi &co. and kids from the hall. it was the 40 year old virgin, and here's the first line of the review i would write is "the forty year old virgin has one foot in romantic comedy, one foot in straight comedy, smashing its nuts on the bar that seprates the genres" that doesnt look good on paper—oh well.

oh yeah...it's snowing. the ground is white

McHomard

2005-12-04T05:49:55Z

today wasn't the best of days

i woke up from my nap to the same sounds that i'd fallen asleep to...roomates swooning over brad pitt in legends of the fall. i'm dizzy, as if i'd been smoking the pot that i could smell last night, through the ventilation from upstairs. it was cold, and i put a blue hoodie on over my blue hoodie, so i was thick, like a spaceman, and not so cold (but not very warm either)

lately it seems as if i'm not able to do work, that there's a smooth surface in my mind that i dont realize i'm pushing against, its resistance is so inevitable. everything good that happened today started at dinner, or sometime aroudn then, cause i'd forgotten that tonight was the dinner when they serve steak and lobster. i had lobster, thomas had steak. after i cleaned up my tail and rice and brocoli, i went to the desert area and made what i like to call chocolate cheesecake explosion surprise, which is gooey chocolate cake and cheesecake and strawberies and sauce and chocolate sauce piled onto a little colored dessert plate, to be consumed without hesitation

for some reason i'm thinking about the time i walked away from the restaurant where my parents and you were eating and went to cvs for decongestant. it worked.

Now the cheez-its and water are done, and forever doesn’t exist.

2005-11-30T01:48:57Z

Ball ball ball ball ball of doom

2005-11-10T23:37:58Z

It crashes and breaks, but not broken yet only chips and Thomas wont know cause the ball bounces and crashes and all the walls will make the noise more I’m bouncing in a microphone and the ball shoots off the walls and hits the ceiling three different times and I am the ball but I’m not dirty on the outside okay it’s labretti time

1ndependenceday @ 2005-10-26T22:47:00

2005-10-27T02:52:21Z

« elle se cache ! »

« je pense que je pourrais (devrais) écrire un blazon au sujet de ces coudes (et comment puis-je ignorer les épaules ?!) ».